I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
