I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
