Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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