Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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