Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
