I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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