omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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