we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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