I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
