Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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