Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
