"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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