that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
