I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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