Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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