there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
