Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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