Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
