haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
