Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
