this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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