We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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