Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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