I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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