Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize