the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
