i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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