"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
