Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
