Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
operation have a gay friend backfired
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
