it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
