Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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