neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
