HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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