so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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