the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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