suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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