I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize