Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
