i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
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Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
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Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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