Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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