You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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