The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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