Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
