my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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