I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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