I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize