in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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