I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
