Define "chronic" masturbator.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
