She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
