ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
