FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
