How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
