You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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