you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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