Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
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My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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