I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize