You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
