Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize