If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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