hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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