no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We need to get me chipped asap
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
