hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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